Bathed in a calm environment of peppermint green with a dash of cerise, the new offices of Dr Candice Roberts at Alberlito Hospital are as classy as the lady herself.
Candice is the epitome of a happy, calm, confident mom. But her journey hasn’t been a bed of roses. Being a practising gynaecologist and obstetrician is one thing, but understanding the emotional trauma of trying to fall pregnant and experiencing several miscarriages is another.
“My husband Don and I tried to fall pregnant for five years after we got married,” said Candice, with a frankness that was heartbreaking. “We were elated when I finally fell pregnant. Unfortunately, I lost the baby
at 12 weeks.” Her second miscarriage occurred a year later, to the day, which was almost uncanny.
“Being a gynaecologist doesn’t detract from the distress of the experience, and although this kind of miscarriage is not uncommon, one is never physically or emotionally prepared.”
One thing I have always appreciated about Candice is her openness and palpable empathy as a woman.
“The frustration of trying to fall pregnant, and feeling down while others around you celebrate their pregnancy can be soul destroying,” said Candice. “We have to understand that it is actually out of our control. When it is your time – it will happen.”
Unfair
Sometimes this seems like an unfair concept to grasp, especially when your whole focus is aimed at conception.
“Many women, including myself, have intense personal issues left unresolved that can stop us from falling pregnant,” continued Candice, opening up old wounds that have since been healed. “It is not always just physical conditions that create infertility”.
Candice and Don recently welcomed their second son, Jack, a brother for two-year-old Ross. “It was almost bizarre, once I realised what was emotionally blocking me from falling pregnant, I conceived within two weeks,” said Candice, explaining that her sessions with a kinesiologist had helped her to reach this point.
Candice has always employed a holistic approach, and willingly refers her patients to complimentary healing to aid in infertility.
“Sometimes life isn’t just a Winnie the Pooh plaster,” she explained, using a quirky analogy. “On the surface things might look happy and healing, but underneath, the sore is still ugly and festering!”
Yuk! you might think, but maybe she has a point. There may be deep seated reasons why conception is difficult.
“I spend time with my patients, querying their relationship with their spouses. Also, whether they have the space in their busy, often professional lives, to deal with a new baby? Often the motives to fall pregnant are not wholesome. Is it merely to fix or heal a crumbling relationship, or are old patterns being repeated from childhood, reinstating limited beliefs?”
Sometimes the answer can be simply learning to give more love – on every level.
One comfort, as a woman, is being able to spend time with Candice, a lady who is not only a professional, but someone who has experienced the pressures and pains of trying to fall pregnant, of losing that much wanted baby and, finally, the ultimate joy of motherhood.
Info: Dr Candice Roberts MBChB (UCT) FCOG (SA)
Suite 18 Alberlito Hospital, Ballito
Tel: 032 946 6973
E-mail: doctor@candiceroberts.co.za