Thirty years ago, although herself a trained midwife, Doreen O’Neill had a hard time giving birth to her son Andrew. It was this experience that convinced Doreen she wanted to be better prepared for her next pregnancy. . .and help other new mothers-to-be do the same.
“I had a very hard labour with my first baby,” she recalls, “and knew I had to be ready for the next time. Luckily I was more prepared for my next baby and it was very quick.”
Dubbed “The Baby Whisperer”, Doreen has in the past 26 years helped 4 637 couples with their new-born babies in her pre- and post-natal clinic – which has become part and parcel of the community. “A lot of parents have had me help them with more than one of their babies,” she notes, “and in many of the cases I have become almost like a part of the family.”
Currently Doreen runs a six-week training class for parents, teaching new and soon-to-be parents how to take care of their babies.
“One of the things we teach them is sleep training,” she says. “I don’t like to overstimulate babies, but would rather teach parents how to soothe their babies. Very often by four months they come to me saying their baby is sleeping very well.”
Speaking about some of the changes she has come across over the years, Doreen notes that parental demographics have changed significantly since she started.
“A lot of the mothers are now 30 and older,” she notes, “but when I started the average age of the mothers was around 28 years. And this is a bit tricky, because by the time they come to me they are very set in their ways, and I have to try to give them other options.”
In recent years Doreen has helped many prominent people with their babies, including the likes of Sharks flanker Jacques Botes. But, despite this, she still believes that all babies are special and each parent needs to cater to the individual needs of that baby.
Among her worst experiences being a baby whisperer, Doreen recounts having to give babies their immunisations. “It’s always very sad for me personally when they start crying and are irritable,” she says, “but I do it because immunisations are important.”
Currently it is common practice to have young children immunised at least 10 times. Speaking about the changes that this increased number of immunisations has made, Doreen says that they do help the baby, but parents need to take care of the baby afterwards to make sure they’re comfortable.
“Often people play loud music and the baby reacts badly to that, but as soon as the music is switched off the baby calms down and falls sleeps. What I prefer, is to take time – like an hour – to examine and soothe the baby,” she says.
One of the things that has made Doreen a hit with new mothers is the amount of time she makes available to assist with new births. Michele Gorrie, who was assisted by Doreen during her first pregnancy with her son Mathew, says there is a distinct sense of reassurance in knowing that there is someone with more than 20 years’ experience to guide you through the first steps of pregnancy and motherhood.
“No one can prepare you for this, and I didn’t know when I signed up to join ‘a private clinic’ how much security and peace of mind I would feel by being part of Doreen and her clinic’s programme,” says Michele.
“When we left hospital I knew she was ready and waiting for Mathew’s first visit and it was such a relief to hear that Doreen was happy with my child. This was better than hearing from a paediatrician, because I already had my trust and relationship with the clinic.”
But it’s not just Doreen O’Neill who makes the ante-natal service a success. It’s also the strong support system mothers have been able to get out of it. And it’s not just the mothers who play an active role in the training sessions and share information, but the fathers as well. In fact, when the centre started, Doreen’s husband Mike O’Neill would come and train the fathers on how to bath their babies.
“It was really adorable,” she says, “and I’m glad a lot of fathers are showing an interest in helping take care of their babies.”
Durban North Ante Natal and Post Natal Services: For more info see the MomZone website.