As a dermatologist and a mother, I felt like a complete failure. My little girl’s well-being and comfort was out of my control. Watching her suffer was unbearable, and yet I was the expert. I felt I had to do more than the treatments I gave out on a daily basis, so I introduced rules into our lives about diet and lifestyle to give myself the illusion of control. I imposed strict restrictions on sport in an attempt to protect my daughter from situations that would decrease her self-esteem and confidence. As moms we fear for our kids being bullied or ridiculed for their skin issues, so we try to shield them from the world when we should be empowering them to be tough and stand up for themselves.
At this present time, there is no cure for eczema. The best way to manage the condition is with the help of a dermatologist. A regular and consistent routine does not need to be long or complicated, but it will help keep the condition in check. This does not mean bad bouts of inflammation and irritation won’t occur. A flare-up is absolutely not a reflection of how well a patient is cared for or how rigorous the routine is, flare-ups occur simply because it is the nature of the condition.
Wet wraps provide moisture to the skin during periods of flare-ups and topical cortisone creams can keep inflammation levels down. Sun protection is very important as is the avoidance of harsh skin products and skin irritants. Removing any food group from the diet where there is no food allergy present will not cure the condition. It will, however, further hamper the way the condition impacts the life of the patient. As a mother, this is a difficult reality to face, despite the evidence and the knowledge I was equipped with.
For two years I did not allow my daughter to eat ice cream. This rule didn’t just come from our struggle with eczema but from my need to be in control as a mother. I blamed it on the eczema but when she started questioning the reasoning, things spiraled out of control.
Eventually, I sent my daughter for a consult with a colleague who cut through the illusion. Losing control of the rules was difficult for me, but now we face her eczema daily with the reality of its challenge.
My consolation is my confidence in dermatologists and scientists worldwide finding a cure. For now, we just need to be patient. As painful as it is, as moms we need to support our kids in the reality of what they are facing, even if it means feeling like situations are beyond our control.
Written By Dr Nokubonga Khoza, Specialist Dermatologist.