Author: Mums Mail Magazine

Kids & Parenting 5 Mins Read

No spanking, what now?

Whether we agree or not, spanking children as a way of punishment is now unlawful and, as parents, we will need to consider alternative approaches to disciplining our children. She adds that “the purpose of this article in not to debate the law, but to suggest some ideas that can assist parents in moving forward.”

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 3 Mins Read

Social Media is not the biggest barrier in teenage girls becoming assertive and resilient adults. It’s how society limits them

The ubiquity of social media is usually the number one suspect when it comes to high-school girls’ low self-esteem and lack of confidence. But at its epicentre, many girls don’t reach their full potential because they’re told that they must conform to what society, and certain cultures, expect from them.

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Kids & Parenting 1 Min Read

Call for Submissions – MZANSI TALES

Submissions in the form of short stories, essays and poems with a South African theme are invited for publication in a volume tentatively titled, Mzansi Tales. Any South African language may be used. A collection of the best submissions will be complled and launched at the 2020 Durban Book Fair which will take place from 24 to 27 April at Mitchell Park, Durban.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 3 Mins Read

Effective Reading from an Early Age

Another term for effective reading is reading comprehension. Mention the word comprehension to your child and he will probably wretch with disgust? What if I told you that effective reading or comprehension can in fact be a lot of fun? What if you equipped your child with a strategy to understand a text from the beginning of his learning career. It is important to note at this point that strategy is not everything. To find out more about this please refer to the following article by Natalie Wexler, Why We’re Teaching Reading Comprehension In A Way That Doesn’t Work.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 4 Mins Read

To be a parent requires love and care and not matching genetics.

In an ideal world every human will be able to have a picket white fence life but reality is not always in ones favour. There are some people whom are not lucky to have the gift to be a parent. Then again one would believe that being a parent requires love and care and not matching genetics.
I recently interviewed a man whom him and his wife adopted a baby girl when she was just six months old and today she is an adolescent.
I asked what the requirements were for adoption was when he and his wife were adopting their baby girl. I was informed that the following was the requirements were the following:
1)A married couple can adopt.
2)The couple who’s adopting must have a house (their own house).
3)The couple will be asked a question. Why do they wish to adopt?
The answer to the question as to why they wish to adopt did not shock me as there are many couples in the world whom struggle to conceive children. They adopted as they could not conceive their own children. They even had to wait three months to receive their daughter as they adopted through a social worker .
I was told that they told their daughter when she was four years old that she was adopted. His daughter was not shocked when learning that she was adopted as he states at that age they learning to understand. I am rather astonished to hear that his daughter did not take the news of her adoption as surprise. I was flabbergasted that his daughter has told her adopted parents that she is not going to look for her biological parents. The couple have expressed their gratitude towards adopting their daughter. Every parent believes their child is very special and this couple is no different.
I have asked this gentle man his views on adoption and he has stated that adoption is the “best thing any couple or anybody can do. It changes your life”.
My thirst for greater knowledge on adoption continued after this interview and I went on to research celebrities that have adopted. I have found that Miss Universe 1994 Sushmita Sen had adopted a child at the age of twenty- four as a single parent .In 2010 she adopted her second child as a single parent.
Sushmita Sen revealed how she used a game to break it to her first daughter that she was adopted. Sushmita Sen game worked very well the first time, that she repeated it when it was time for second daughter to know the truth too.
Sushmita Sen played a game of opposites, for example tall and short and etc. She later said adopted and biological. Her eldest daughter then said ‘I’m adopted?’ Sushmita Sen replied saying: yes, biological is boring. You are special; you’re born from the heart. Sushmita Sen was glad that the game worked both times like magic.
In cases of adoption, the adoptive parents are not too keen on their children seeking out their biological family. Sushmita Sen left that choice open to both her daughters. After she told her eldest daughter she is adopted and that she has a choice opened to search for her biological parents. Her eldest daughter replied: ‘No, I don’t want to find out.
An adult movie actress, Sunny Leone and her husband flabbergasted the world when they decide to adopt a female child. The child that was adopted by Sunny Leone and her husband was initially turned down by eleven prospective parents before she had been adopted.

While many adoptive parents are often very concerned about whom they bring into their homes and have a lot to speak about an adoptive child’s physical appearance, skin colour as well as medical history. Yet without looking at a child’s colour, background and health status, Sunny Leone and her husband happily adopted a child. Sunny Leone and her husband did not try to bend the rules and stood in the queue like all the other parents who was waiting to adopt.
Sunny Leone has an interest to tell her adoptive daughter that she is adopted. According to the actress, her daughter will have to know that her mother did not abandon her and that she bore her for nine months. Sunny reportedly feels that she is connected to her adoptive daughter by her soul and that after adopting her she is her mother now.
I have come to the conclusion that adoption is not a form of charity but rather a blessing. I encourage all parents in the world whom are struggling to conceive children to adopt a child as it really is the best action any one can do. It really does change one’s life.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 2 Mins Read

Paid In Full with One Glass of Milk

There was once a poor boy who sold goods from door to door to pay his way through school. One day he was doing the same activity of selling goods from door to door and had only one thin dime left since he was hungry, he thought of asking for meal at the next house.

On knocking, he found a beautiful young lady opened the door, and lost his nerve on seeing her. Instead of asking for food, he asked for drinking water. The woman thought he must be hungry, so brought him a large glass of milk. “How much do I owe you?” asked the boy after drinking it slowly.

“You don’t owe me anything”, the young lady replied. “Mother has taught us never accept payment for a kindness.” The boy said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, his faith in man and God grew stronger and physically also he felt strong. Earlier he had decided to give up and quit.

Years later, the young lady had fallen critically ill. She was taken to a big city since the local doctors there were helpless. Specialists were called to study her rare disease. Dr Kelly was also one of the specialists. When he heard the name of the town from where she came, a strange light filled his eyes and they were gleaming.

Immediately out of excitement, he went to the patients’ ward dresses in his doctor’s gown. He recognized her at once. He went back to his consultation room and decided to study the case and do his best to save her life. From that day, he began to give special attention to that case.

After a long struggle, Dr Kelly succeeded to cure the lady. He suggested the hospital authority to pass on the final bill for approval before sending it to the lady. The lady feared to open it, for she was sure that it would take the rest of her life to pay for it at all. Finally she looked and something caught her attention when she saw these words written on the edge…

“Paid in full with one glass of milk.” (Signed) Dr Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy filled the woman’s eyes as her happy heart prayed, “Thank -you God that your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands.”

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 4 Mins Read

Lockdown Fever

COVID 19 has taken a toll not only on the economy but on society across the globe with lock downs implemented across the globe.
The life of humanity was simple as before individuals could walk around freely but today every human feels trapped in a cage. It is as if the world sent us all to our room to decide what we done incorrect. Many of us are privileged during this period as we are allowed to reside in our homes. In which we can read, still be employed, and still get the privilege to be educated with limited worries. Many people are extremely appreciative of what one has during this time even with the COVID 19 taking a toll across the globe.
Many people have thought twenty- one days is no huge deal during this lock down period and many people have been buying necessities before we was even told we will have a national lock down . After a lock down was declared many of us stood in queues for a basic need such as bread. I have even seen the so called spaza shop owners going to supermarkets to buy loaves of bread to sell in a small shop as there are no suppliers to transport goods to them. This is only the beginning of what is happening in society. Many households are not living in peace and harmony as people are struggling to understand many different personalities in a house and many of individuals feel like we in a cage. I call it the lock down fever.
Many parents have now taken on the role as an educator, helper as well being employed from home. Many of us are not delighted to know that we are just sitting at home and we have limited traveling privileges. People with even chronically illnesses are now feeling restricted and are getting more irritable during this period. I have recently spoken to my pharmacist and they have informed to escape this lock down fever we must remember that we all in small place and many people with chronically illnesses will be more irritable at this moment in life. I have been told that the world will be a much better place if people remember three words before they speak during lock down.
1)Is what I am going to say true?
2)Is what I am going to say kind?
3)Is what I am going to say necessary at the time?
It got me thinking that yes we are in a lock down period to escape the lock down fever with a many different personalities spending a lot of time together we really need to remember the three points before we speak. We must also learn to accept that it is frustrating to be each other’s face 24/7 but we need to remember how animals feel in the zoo. I also feel personally as a chronic patient we need to remember that during this time we also need to appreciate everyone’s nectar. An individual’s nectar is all the good traits an individual has. We all have flaws. Yet if we look at the good in a person during this period we will not get frustrated and appreciate who they are. Yes there are flaws everywhere but during a time of lock down is that going to bring us together or tear us a part.
We should be honey bees that look for the good in an individual and accept their flaws as we will have more meaningful and healthy relationships. I believe to overcome this lock down fever of feeling trapped in a cage an individual should focus on the good traits of the people around them. A honey bee’s main purpose is to only focus on the bright and colourful flowers and they only extract the nectar from the flowers. They forget about all the other negativity around the flower and the nectar.
We do not know when this lock down period is going to end but during this time it is best to only look for the best in others as well as it has come across that society and malls have all disappeared but only family is around.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 12 Mins Read

My online abuser

We all friends on social media. It is easy to make friends and start relationships online but the after affects is not good. It easy to start a relationship online but to maintain that relationship now that is not that easy as everything online is attention.
I was given a guy’s BlackBerry Messenger Pin form someone I met in high school. The person who gave me the BlackBerry Messenger pin of my abuser was his friend. I then saw there was no harm in inviting him. I naively invited my abuser on BlackBerry Messenger. I was surprised that he started throwing me up in.
He brainwashed me with sad story and told me stories of how his former girlfriend and how he loved her (I see now it was not love but attention because online is all attention).
One day he all of a sudden gave me a call and we spoke and he put on a façade of how amiable he is. All the people that knew him said he was kind and genial .They does not know the lies he feed me. He probably feed the lies to them to .He told me can I be his mistress and take me to Blue Waters hotel. He told me his private part wants me. I found it a rude joke and laughed it off. I did not see that this was a sign for me to run for the hills.
He phoned him and asked me to be his girlfriend. His friends were screaming in the back ground saying when we are going to make love. I told him no sex before marriage. I told him I need time to think about being his girlfriend. I later found out he told everyone I was his girlfriend and I could not face people and I went along with it. I refused to be his girlfriend and he threatened to hit me telling me: “he will bust my head”.
He got drunk at a bar and the next day was my birthday he called me up while he was drunk telling me if do not give him my virginity he will delete me from BlackBerry Messenger. I see this day he is an abuser and I feel like I cannot go anywhere and am very scared that he will track me down and harm me. He kept asking me to let him come to my house when my parents are not at home but my gut kept making an excuse to never see him. It was if my mind was protecting me. He told me to have sex with him first then he will marry me once I am pregnant and his parents will not register the wedding as they are very scared that if I divorce him I will take some of his wealth and go. My one friend told me at that time I am very gullible if I believe he will make me pregnant before marriage and stay with him. He did not want me going to lectures and used to phone me during lectures only once I entertained him when he phoned me during a lecture the other times I said no. He said he did not want to fall in love with me cause I will always put others and education before him. I told him how important my education is to me.
He got back with his former girlfriend. He spread many lies of his former girlfriend. She later left him and he said: he left her. I deleted him when he got back with his ex-girlfriend but later re-invited him as I was very scared of his threats. I did not want to take him back but he threatened me and I took him back, He threatened to rape me and kill me. He did not want me around other men. He disapproved of how I cut my hair. I did not see it then but he slowly took me away from my social circle as his threats started playing in my mind and he was angry about my putting my campus work before him. Yet I still continued to study.
I was too scared to go to the police. I thought that no one can help me. I kept it secrets from my parents and friends. I did not know what to do. I even started to doubt my faith in God.

In a few months later after I refused to let him come see me when my parents was not at home. I see now that they will harm you in a place where a lady is helpless. He left me again and I wished him well. He then threatened to come to my house to see me because I am doing not have a problem he left. He found out the girl he was dating was pregnant with another man’s child. He then phoned me and called me up telling a sad story of what happened and before I could hang up he told all his friends He is back with me and these thoughts played in my head. After many months I eventually got annoyed with his nagging to meet up and decided to meet him. He told me to dress a certain way when I come meet him and I agreed but I later changed my mind and wore what I was comfortable in.
He told me we will just go to the Durban Harbour for coffee. I agreed. I told him to fetch me from campus. As there is a lot of people around their. He picked me up from campus and he then drove into Durban Harbour and we stopped at a coffee shop but he continued driving. He took me on the esplanade and then into the freeway. He started driving like maniac and I started holding the car seat like there is no tomorrow. I started uttering a silent prayer and I am in such a state of shock. He takes me to a beach one the Bluff and I am in such a state of shock. I am sitting silently in the car and do not know how to react. While in the car he told me he will put an article in the newspaper if people want old fashion girls they must come to my house. He takes me past my old high school and tells me: See your lesbian school (as I went to an all girls’ high school). At the beach on the Bluff .He start opening my scarf I am wearing on my neck. He later starts pulling my cheeks asking if he can bite and kiss me. No I replied. I start screaming in the car. I scream: Take me back to campus and this was all just a huge mistake. I throw such a tantrum that he decides to take me back to campus. He later tells me he does not know why I spend a lot of money for rescue dogs’ health as they are just dogs. He leaves me right outside campus and I peck his cheek as I am very grateful that I am safe back at campus and that is the last time I ever met my online abuser in public. I come to see that they will tell you to meet them in a place as they can do unspeakable actions to you. If you meet them in a place with a lot of people they will even lead you into a place where no one can come and see what unspeakable actions they will do to you. After that terrifying day at the beach. He removes my post from Facebook and I put a status on Black Berry Messenger that I met him as I am scared he will harm me. He puts a status of Black Berry Messenger as well but omits my name. I remember how he said he will put me as his profile photo if I met him and he will send me a relationship status on Face book if I meet him. He does not do all that he promised and I am not flabbergasted but I am too scared to leave. He blocks me on one what’s app ( I have two what’s app’s as I have two phones , I take the Black Berry to campus but leave the S3 mini at home) . He blocks me on the S3 mini what’s app saying he has problems with his phone. I am very scared to leave as his threats play like an old recorder on my mind. I remember how he said: he will rape me and kill me. A few weeks later I see him asking me to send a picture of my private part and I refuse and he says he showed me his private part and I cannot show him mine . I reply: I did not tell you to send any photograph. He sent a photograph of his private part before I agreed to meet him. I later find him calling me a bitch and I am very scared to leave this toxic electronic relationship as this guy knows where I stay. I later do not want to take him back and he finds another girl and later finds out she is also pregnant. I do not know how this guy feels he owned me as I have not stated to be his girlfriend but he cannot accept no as an answer. I told him. I was happy he moved on and he does not accept it. He thinks he can come back any time. I am too scared to go to the police as he has threatened me and even threatened to harm my family.

I went for a basic counselling course on abusive relationships and I called him out on his behaviour and he dismissed it. I told him if he just wants to have intercourse with me. He must get a sex worker. He told me I am a sex worker. I managed to place all his lies together and I found out he lied a lot and I later decided I cannot change him and I decided to slowly start ignoring him and I started focusing on my studies. I end up receiving my results from campus and I see that I need to do a supplementary in the New Year and I have to write one exam paper as I had gastric flu and could not right.
I later see he finds another victim and he tells me he has a girlfriend. I finally tell him I wish him all the best as I met a very shy young gentleman whom I met in school again. He is shocked and does not respect me. He tells me to send him a naked photograph and I refuse. He later threatens to hit me. I decided to delete him and he said fine. I ask him to let me let him go in amicable way. He told me to go and leave his friends and stop contacting him as it is annoying him. I cut off all ties with him. I tried to leave in a dignified way but he would not allow it .I later moved on and made new friends a couple months later. I found that he has sent me another friend request on Face Book. I got angry and this time it was not acceptable. I sent him a message back. I said in the message: “Do you remember what you said to me do not contact me or your friend as it is annoying you yet you send me a friend request stop contacting me as it is getting annoying now. I then deactivate my Facebook account and never go back.

This is a very scary story that I told and I encourage mums out there to be careful whom their children talks to and whom they go to meet. I pray that no other individual goes through what I went through. I have come to learn these online relationships are not to be considered relationships and people online put on a façade instead of showing whom they really are. I see that parents try to protect their children from the negativities of the world. My message to any mother out there is that she prays for her child to not experience what I had experienced. I have come to learn to not even take numbers from my friends. I have learnt if they know my friend that is good enough but that does not mean I must take their number and talk to them. I feel no need for social media anymore as I talk to people whom I meet and know in person. I only keep limited social media profiles open as I feel the less is more. I encourage people to be careful whom you are introduced to and who contacts you. I was naïve back then to see that I could have taken those Black Berry Messenger messages and what’s app Messages and used it as evidence to press charges against him.
I today feel it was all God’s grace that I was safe. I feel it was my mother’s prayer that protected me that day and that is why I was safe. I see that everything in life comes back to bite us and I do believe that this guy will get his share of karma.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 16 Mins Read

First jobs Horrors

Many Countries on the Earth it is tough to find a decent job after you have just graduated from any tertiary intuition. The difference between school and life is: Is in school you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.
I remember that many parents were very concerned how quickly their child will find a valuable job. My family was one of those families. They told me to take menial jobs as experience is important. I refused to listen as I believed I did not get my Honour’s degree to take a menial job.

After many months of pressure from the family. I ended up taking a job at the office in an Early Child hood Development Centre. I went to the stage of even asking the lady that I would even be prepared to fetch her medicine for her. I landed a job after she interviews me at coffee shop; I end up getting dressed and preparing for my first day at work only to find her sending me a message not to come into the office today as she had plans. I let it slide not seeing that this not a good place to be. The next I wait for her outside my gate as she said she is taking me shopping for a function at school. I wait and wait and she lands up getting caught in many tasks and arriving late. Well I worked my first day and arrive home and end up going to work the next day on time. I later arrive at the school and the morning office manager is not even aware if I am meant to even be at work. I then tell her to phone the lady in charge of the Early Childhood Development Centre and she does and then the office lady is informed I am the new personal assistant. I am not given a job description but I let it pass as I really need the experience. I worked really tough not seeing my employer is taking advantage of my good work ethic.
I am asking for help regular as I am learning and at first my boss seems impressed but then later sends me a what’s app message : “ Please do not come in today “. I am shocked by this message and I tell her I am already at work. She arrives at work and calls me into her office and then takes me aside and closes the door. She tells me: I done my last task badly and that I need a full time baby sitter. I am shocked and she told me this is why I not come into work must. She later sends me out of her office and screams for me to return and me run back. I am flabbergasted that she is in the office and tells me to feel the dirt of her desk that I did not wipe. I am about to burst into tears but I feel the desk and tell her I will do better next time. She later tells if I need my brain scanned and then chases me out of her office and then tells me to if I am going to waste time I should leave. I am hurt and I go home at the end of the day to not tell my parents a word. I ended up working for one more week at the school and then as I am about to arrive to work, I get a’s app message from her “Good Morning Sasha Please do not come in today “. I am shocked and I reply to her message is there a reason. She responds: “Dearest Sasha having an Honours degree is not having skills for practice and I do not add value”. I am shattered my dreams break in tiny sparkles. I later find out that she did not even pay me for my work and I threaten to take her to CCMA. Eventually she pays me.

I later land a job at a very good company. I later arrive to work and sense that I am not wanted their.
I am later introduced to my manager whom does not even give me my job description as I am meant to on the first day. I do not have a computer or even a work station set up for me. I do not even have an email address set up for me.
I work hard sorting out all the unwanted admin that the other intern and the other team players do not want to do. I am very frustrated but I remember everyone’s words focus on getting the experience. I work my lunch breaks and am given to many tasks in one day that I do not have time to rest as I result I end up getting very anxious and end up getting depression . I carry on working hard at work. My manager lets the other employees do as they please but not me.
My lunch break is not allowed to be taken but the other employees have lunch break and play on their phone when they please. I come to work complete my tasks and ask my manger if I can go home as I am sick. I faint at work one day and my manager sent me home. The next day I arrive back at work and during my lunch time. I get a phone call it is a pay roll deadline and eat and speak to my boyfriend during lunchtime and my manager tells me to put my phone away. Later my manager does not check my payroll and sends it to head office and I am later flabbergasted as there are errors. She later uses foul language on me and victimizes me. My co-workers do not want me to sit at their office cubicles and send me away to work in another office. My manager sends me an awful I message the next day I arrive at work.
I file for grievance and other employees read the managers email of the grievance yet I do not have access to my manager’s email.
I later get harassed and my manger wants to give me a warning .I refuse to sign the warning. She tears the documents I received from her to do a task and she lets the other intern whom is her favourite keep the altered documents. During the harassment she tells me did she give me a job description and that I got no respect for her and uses foul language. My manger tells me see my friend from head office is on speaker and now tell her that you said it is not your job to do other peoples job. My manager tells me to tell her friend in head office how special I think I am.
I am later sent out of her office. I cry and leave and go to the next company in the same office for help.
That afternoon I contact head office and tell head office how they put people on site with no employee number .I tell them how they cut out one certified stamp and add it to another person’s documents and send it to head office. The next day my manger emails head office that I did not come to work on that Saturday. She CC’s me and tells her story to the Human Resource executive. I am traumatized when I open my personal email. I did not go to work as I went to go see the doctor because of the trauma I experienced the day before.
I go to work the next Monday and I am traumatized. I cannot go to work on the Saturday as I am to shaken up. I am hurt that when I arrive to work on Monday I find unknown documents in my desk (documents to accuse me of fraud). My manager loses her job in a meeting she has when she has to fly to Johannesburg with the director. I remember that before I came to work on Monday I sent all the documents and grievance to head office. After my manger is dismissed she phones co-workers but not me. I am threatened by the other intern but I dismiss this.
I later find the next Saturday my boss has brought another intern to work on the same Saturday and the staff supervisor victimises me, my manager and the other intern. The intern puts me on speaker phone to tell my manger I am not listening to her. My manager tells her to report me to head office.
The staff supervisor later tells me: he will report me and the other intern to head office but he only tells me and not the other intern.
Later that Saturday Head office emails me to tell me of my new manager. I am later that week introduced to my manager and he puts a lot of pressure on me and I need the job to add valuable work experience to my curriculum vitiate. I work diligently and do not give him a reason to judge me.
A few months down the line my manger telling me that the other office staff will not like me if he fires me. This is a sign for me to understand he is a creep. He later puts a lot of pressure on me and threatens to discipline me I am reminded I need experience. I am being bullied by the supervisor and I tell the supervisor that he is not my manager. I am later am in big trouble with the manager as my manager tells me: The orders come from him and my supervisor is my senior. I see that my manger does not even follow the job description or contract I was given. He is quick to call me out but he lets the pay roll lady send salary slips on what’s app. I am later victimised by my manger as I do not give a solution to the present problem. I am earlier pushed into this company’s store room and I tell the supervisor and payroll lady that this is harassment as the supervisor brought the pay roll lady as his witness and I do not have a witness. I tell the staff supervisor and pay roll lady this is harassment. The pay roll lady tells him: “let’s leave”. She later tells me: I will leave the company how I left not knowing anything. Later the manager tells me his baby sitting not understanding that I am intern. I later find out that he is taking staff with criminal records and does not like me doing full on reference checks. He wants to transfer me. He told me he is not impressed with me. I see that he is accepting people to come to work for him with criminal records and even keeps staffs that have been caught, inducted and know drinking on site is not acceptable. He has even still kept staffs that have been caught stealing alcohol on the company’s site.
I leave my new mangers office hurt and I am confused.
I still do my work diligently but I am traumatised that how my manager can do that to me. It is not professional. I later found my co – workers have gone through my desk and say I want to charge them for harassment. I am really hurt and it is the end of the day and I leave. My manager wants to transfer me see’s what is going on and ignores it. I the next day go meet all the employees and my co-workers at a work site. My manger is upset and tells me I am just here to look beautiful at work. I refused to work extra hours as I tell him I do not have transport home. I even go to work on the Saturday at a site. I work well and he does not acknowledge that.
I am later told by him that another company will take me on. My manager said he does not want to break me but does he know that as an intern we just there to be trained and not to be given many tasks as I as an intern have been given. I am delighted that I am going to go to a new company. My manager tells me to continue training the other intern he brought and I do diligently. I am later accused by the pay roll lady that all the problems at the organisation are my fault. She takes my sheet I am typing for the Excel Spread Sheet. She tells me she will report me to head office and I ignore her. The rest of the office sees this and she apologizes to the office. The site supervisor tells me to give the people I called for interview money to go home. He did not need those people yet he told me earlier to contact those people. My manager tells me in the final meeting that expects me to even be at his beck and call after he transfers me. I leave the company diligently and make sure all my work is up to date. My manager on the last day buys the intern I trained even though I am an intern a suit. He even gives warnings to the staff that disrespect the other intern.
I start at the new company and the intern I trained whom took my employment. He comes to me and asks me for help and I am rude to him as it has not been one day since I joined my new organisation and he comes to me. I tell him to figure the work out as I had to. I was not given any training at the former company I was working at even though I signed the contract that I am an intern. I was interviewed for an intern by head office yet am not given training.
My former manager later comes to be a few day later. He asks me to assist with finding an employee’s file. I tell him that I am over worked and I am unaware of the file. The pay roll lady at my former company comes to ask me about the same file and I tell the exact words I told my former manager.
A few months later the intern comes to me as he needs the office keys and I refuse to give the office keys as I am responsible for the office. I later find out that because I did not give them the office keys to the intern my old company is angry at me. The next day the pay roll lady comes to the office and screams at the top of her voice. She screams: “There is a reason that people like me change jobs often because we make other people’s lives awful. I am an intern and I said it is my keys but it is the keys of the office. She said I had to hurry home and could not give the office keys to the other intern. She said that they had to communicate on what’s app with the client. She said I am an intern and will speak to my new manager”. I just sit quietly as silence is better than nonsense. That day was my lucky day as I rewarded the keys to the regional stock room and am given the title as the store room assistant. The pay roll lady whom said all those words in the morning did not even go tell my manger a word. The pay roll lady of my former company later steals the staff milk and I tell my manger about this.
I later have to leave the company as my contract has now ended but I leave on good terms with my new management. The Friday my contract ended and then the Monday I am given a telephone interview with the director of the organisation. I tell the director. I am an intern and taught myself pay roll. The first company I worked at was not at all supportive like the second company. She asked me how does an intern teach themselves intern. I said I do not know but I taught myself. She tells me did my manager at my first company know this and I said yes he did. I told her the second company was a better company to work at.

I have come to see that even “The expert in anything was once a beginner”. I have come to see that there are many horrors in the world. I learnt that the work world is not easy but I will always remember that negativity must be used as motivation to do better. I see we all have our own clocks in life. I see that not everyone will come to work to work.

Advice for interns
•always refer back to your contract
•job descriptions
•Whom they report to
•- remember you knew it will take time to learn
•Keep a book and note any incidents of work people
•Tell yourself you come to work to work
•Always refer back to job description to manager
•If you feel people are bullying you at work file for grievance with all the information you collected.
•Remember these people will only be important as long as you work
•All own clock in life
•Karma is around
• Keep all the messages and emails your co-workers and manager sends to you as evidence.
•Keep a work journal
•Keep a book of the tasks you done at work for the day and the task you have to do. Tick off the tasks you have already done.
•be careful but never be afraid to stand up to the wrongs
•Remember your morals.
•Basic conditions of employment
•Book write everything you do and what happens to you
•Tell yourself every morning you come to work to work and in the afternoon you leave work at work.
•Understand that you will not be brilliant at every task.
•Tell what you would like change in exit interview.
•Remember Steve Jobs quote: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking”.

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 2 Mins Read

Life is like a cup of coffee.

A group of alumni, who were very successful in their careers, decided to get together to visit their old university professor. After they all reunited, the conversation of the alumni soon turned into complaints about work, relationships and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all of his old students had a cup of coffee in hand, they sat down together and the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is, of course normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that can also be the source of much of your dissatisfaction, problems and stress.
It’s important to know that the cup itself adds no real quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just chosen because it’s perceived to be more special or expensive. What all of you really wanted was experience of the coffee, not the cup, but you unconsciously went for the best cups. Some of you tried to get the best cup first or began eyeing each other’s cups to see if yours was nice enough.
Now consider this: Life is a bit like the cup of coffee; the jobs, money possessions and position in society are the cups. They are just tools and structures that contain or hold together the current story of your life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Here is my advice to you – Savour the coffee, not the cups! What you really want is to be happy and the happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
So live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly….and your life will be fully lived.”

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 1 Min Read

Madeira cake Recipe

Madeira cake Recipe
Ingredients
1 Lemon
125g Margarine
1 Cup sugar
2 Eggs
1 Cup Milk
2 Cup Flour
2 Teaspoon Baking powder
1 Teaspoon lemon Essence
1 Table spoon Almond Essence
Method
Cream Margarine, Sugar, Eggs and both essences.
Add in mixture in flour and milk
Then Bake in Oven for 1 Hour at 190°C

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 5 Mins Read

Local tech creates additional layer of protection for schools

A Covid-19 school screening toolkit has been designed for South African schools to both reduce risk and to gather reliable information that schools can use to make decisions and equip them with the best means possible of collecting Covid-19 data. Collection and leverage of reliable data has emerged as one of the most powerful prevention and mitigation strategies.

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Kids & Parenting 5 Mins Read

Locally developed tech toolkit could potentially offer an additional layer of protection for schools

With many schools reopening, the decision to send their children back to class remains a deeply personal and difficult one for many parents. Given this and the need for children to continue learning, how can we reduce risk of infection for them, their teachers and families – without placing an unmanageable burden on schools, parents and learners? Could “school screening” actually start at home? A few schools across the country are already exploring tech to find out

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Kids & Parenting
Kids & Parenting 3 Mins Read

Money-free and off-screen; Play Sense is taking families on a Playcation

Play Sense is launching a free ‘Playcation’, which is a 4-week online programme starting on the 10th December, and offers parents access to a wide range of easy-to-use, fun activities across four different themes. Registration is free and the program, which runs until 11th January 2021, has been developed by occupational therapists to nurture essential skills in 2 to 4-year olds.

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