Coronavirus has changed your child’s world, perhaps forever in some ways. S/he is now housebound and unable to go to school or socialise with friends and extended family. Mum and Dad may no longer go out to work but may be working from home instead or are perhaps unable to work at all. People go out in masks and there is a sombre, anticipatory atmosphere in the air. Even very young children who don’t have words to describe this will be aware that something is not right from the change in routine, the hushed adult conversations and the general sense of anxiety that abounds.
Your school-age child is likely to have some information about the Coronavirus, either from prior discussion at school, from friends or from snippets s/he has heard on the news or from adult conversation. What does your child know about the Coronavirus and is this information correct? Given the impact of this pandemic on your child’s life and the potential anxiety it can cause, it is important to discuss the Coronavirus with them and to address any concerns or misconceptions they might have by providing reassurance and factual information.
There are some wonderful, free downloadable resources from which to start this conversation. Two free online books (available in pdf) which are particularly useful are Coronavirus: A book for Children by Elizabeth Jenner, Kate Wilson & Nia Roberts and illustrated by Axel Scheffler (illustrator of the Gruffalo) and Dave the Dog is Worried about Coronavirus. A Nurse Dotty book by Molly Watts. These books aim to give information to children in a friendly, factual way to help reduce anxiety and misconceptions about the Coronavirus.
A good place to start discussing Coronavirus is to ask your child what they already know about the virus. This is a useful way to clarify any false information they might have been told. Your child might have questions about what they have heard or read; try to answer these honestly and tailor your answers to your child’s age. Younger children generally just need a simple answer in basic language, don’t give them more detail than they can process. Older children might need more detail on specifics like how the virus is spread, what the symptoms are or even how we think the virus originated. Try to provide as much information as your child needs to understand it and if you don’t know the answer, be honest about that too. There is a lot we don’t yet know about this virus. Keep the conversation open and let your children know that you will update them when you have more information and that they can come back to you with questions at any time.
Your child may also have anxiety fuelled questions or concerns like, “What if I get it?”, “Is Grandpa/Granny going to die?”, “I don’t want you to die,” etc. This is a great opportunity to create reassurance for children. Always answer questions honestly, for example, “Granny is old thus she might become sicker than you or I if she got the virus (just like Dave the Dog’s granny in the book) but that is why she is staying at home to stay safe and we aren’t seeing her just in case we give her the virus without realising we have it.” Remind children that they and Granny are using sanitisers, washing hands and using masks when going out. Giving children active strategies like this that they (and loved ones) can take to stay safe empowers them and enhances their sense of their ability to protect themselves from the virus.
You might even want to involve your child in making cloth face masks for each family member (including Granny or whoever they might be concerned about). Children will have fun picking out fabrics for themselves and others and the act of making a mask will further enhance their sense of empowerment in keeping themselves and loved ones safe. Additionally, you can remind your child of the wonderful health care workers in our country who are working so hard to care for people who are sick. They might also find it comforting that scientists overseas are working on medicines and a vaccine to protect us from the Coronavirus and that South Africa will also be helping with this.
Your attitude to the virus will determine how your child reacts. If you are anxious and fearful, your child is likely to react the same way, as children read our non-verbal cues and look for our reaction before reacting themselves. If you model a calm attitude of realistic hope that this time will pass and that life will continue, your child is likely to do the same. If you are feeling very anxious about the virus, you might need to take some time to explore why you are feeling this way and to talk through your feelings with someone before chatting to your child.
Help your child to see the silver lining in this pandemic. Focus on the positives of staying at home, how much fun it is to all be together, to be able to sleep in when it is chilly and how great it is that there is now time to do cool stuff like make muffins, snuggle up and watch movies and do puzzles together. Challenge older children to think more globally when looking at the silver lining. What implications can the halting of human production and pollution have for the earth and its animals? Are there things we could do differently when life goes back to normal? Finally, help children to realise that they are living through history. The Coronavirus just like the Black Plague or Spanish Flu will go down in history and they will have been a part of it and that is quite something….