It is normal for young children to experience difficulty with sharing, taking turns and identifying roles within groups when playing together. It is important for them to practice the skills needed to resolve conflict in order for it to become second nature for them throughout their lives. With the correct guidance from parents, even very young children can learn basic conflict resolution skills.
All parents handle playground incidents differently. Some parents are relaxed and allow their children to play freely on the playground and sort out their own fights, while others keep a watchful eye and get involved at the slightest sign of danger or conflict.
When conflict arises it is important that the children involved get the opportunity to tell their side of the story, while the others listen without interrupting. Once each child has had their turn to speak, the parent can then simplify the problem for the children in a sentence or two in order to state the problem clearly. For example, if Jessica and Natalie were fighting over a swing, one could say: “Jessica and Natalie it sounds like you both would like a turn on this swing. Is that right?” The children should then be given an opportunity to suggest a solution to the problem, even if one or more children have the same idea, for example “What do you boys/girls think we can do to fix the problem?” Children should once again be reminded to listen while the others are talking.
Next, facilitate a discussion whereby the group is encouraged to choose the best solution. Once an appropriate suggestion has been agreed upon, the children should be commended on working together to solve their problem. They are then free to go implement the chosen solution.
Parents should observe the children playing to ensure that no further conflict arises. If the solution does not appear to be working, the group should be given the opportunity to renegotiate a different solution.
Children require repeated practice in order to develop conflict resolution skills. Conflict resolution is an important social skill that helps them become more aware of and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. A child’s self-confidence is developed when they learn to solve their problems in a positive and assertive way. They develop valuable communication and listening skills while also learning to think creatively and evaluate solutions.
Written by Natalie Brits and Jessica Spearman (Teachers at Crawford Pre-Primary North Coast).