In the news this week, Police Deputy Minister Fikile Mbalula warned police to “shape up or ship out”, saying their physiques were getting in the way of them doing their jobs.
Jeez, no kidding, Mr Deputy. With some of those stomachs you’d need a wheelbarrow to get around. These guys need the Diego Maradona treatment, stomach staples, the works.
Mbalula’s erudite utterances came after national Police Commissioner General Bheki Cele’s famous comments regarding a “mmmmm” kind of a product and that “people must envy your body as you walk”. You’ve got to hand it to these bosses, they know how to call a spade a spade . . . stomachs in, chests out indeed.
Well, Mr Mbalula – as a taxpayer – I have to say I certainly appreciate your comments, although I could have told you the same thing yonks ago, having analysed many of our local police practitioners sacrificing themselves for the job over recent years. How these good folk are meant to apprehend anyone is beyond me. I’m no Olympic athlete but with a hop, skip and a jump I’d leave these Adonis lookalikes eating my dust in seconds.
At the end of the day our nation’s policing woes must come down to motivation . . . how to get it, and why they don’t have it. What are they teaching our young cadets at college anyway? How to eat donuts? Course 101 in fried chicken? How to down a 2l Coke in one sitting? You’d think that how to lead a healthy lifestyle and be a reasonably fit individual would be somewhere near the top of the list of priorities. If it’s a matter of poor payment, then find the money, but make sure an increase comes married to a Virgin Active gym contract. No exercise, no pay.
“Some police officers decide to expand their girth immediately after leaving the training colleges. They’re no match for the criminals they are after,” Sapa reported Mbalula as saying. Right on, Mr Deputy Minister, the crooks are too cunning and are much better physical specimens than the protectors of public order.
Mbalula also referred to some officers as “massaging beer bellies” when criminals were on the run. Isn’t this a wonderful image of our protectors, the people who allow us to sleep at night? A little rub of the tum while the hoodlums, rapists, murderers, stock thieves, muggers, hijackers, etc make good their getaways.
But seriously, well done Mr Deputy for taking on these public servants. While I would never deny that some policemen live true to their calling and the image of the police, wouldn’t it be great to see Mbalula stay true to his word and get rid of those who do not want to toe the line, put a smile on their dials, stay clear of corruption, and yes, take it easy on the pies and rather go hard at the gym.
We watch with immense interest. Amandla. – Garth Johnstone
**Faster than you can say ‘grab a pie and coke’, policemen have issued a rapid fire response to the comments of Deputy Minister of Police Fikile Mbalula
1 Comment
Probably one of the most positive articles coming out of our country that I have read in a while! And about time! Good one!