Can you remember what it was like to be a child? Children perceive the world differently to how we see it in adult life where negative events, perceived failures, stress and chronic strain can upset us. MARY MOORE looks at individuals’ coping resources, which include the way grown-ups respond and adapt to problems and incidents, and suggests that it is helpful to see “the world through rose-coloured glasses”.
We can learn from the way children see the world around them, including emulating certain behaviour such as curiosity, their approach to happiness, what others think and not judging people.
According to Liizl Miller, Clinical & Educational Psychologist in Monument Park Pretoria (M.Sc. Clinical Psychology (Univ of Limpopo), M. Ed Ed. Psychology (Pret)), kids are curious, and because they are curious they are constantly asking questions. However, due to tiredness, monotony, disappointments, pressure, and failure we may experience when we get older, we somehow stop asking questions; being open to unfamiliar and fun experiences where we could experience discovery, joy and delight, and become bogged down by monotonous and familiar daily routine.
According to an article online (experiencelife.com), titled “The Power of Curiosity” by Todd Kashdan (May, 2010), “one of the most reliable and overlooked keys to happiness is cultivating and exercising our innate sense of curiosity”, or of genuinely wanting to know more about something.
For example, kids obtain immense delight out of seeing how things work and keep doing it over and over, and this is something we as adults can work on by consciously showing more interest in the world around us; asking questions and observing; maintaining a positive and open position with what is happening around us, and wanting to find out more and trying new things. Instead of viewing things as being difficult and experiencing the drudge, we need to look at them with wonder and excitement.
Even if we have to initially pretend to show excitement and interest in people and activities, by for example asking friends 20 questions about their lives, this will generate a new approach and influence our world. We can even ask ourselves questions about our own values, and passions. Maintaining our curiosity the way kids do helps us discover aspects of life, others and ourselves, and also enhances and reveals new dimensions to our world.
What did you want to be when you were a child? Kids enjoy playing games such as doctors, nurses, and vets, where they can be anything, and even the possibility of being a garbage man is an exciting option! If we could all think like kids and do what we find exciting, instead of living dull, tedious lives, we would have unlimited possibilities!
Children enjoy their lives, have fun and take breaks, whereas with the busy and demanding lives that adults lead, they tend to be stressed and suffer from anxiety. Adults need to look at enjoying the ride and using joy as a way of coping and protecting themselves against burnout and failure. We need to approach life in much the same way as children, being real about ourselves and our limits, accepting ourselves and others, having compassion and interest in others and taking time for rest.
Kids don’t judge. Children have no concept of what is “different”, and do not judge. It is just something new to them, neither good nor bad. Adults very often have established what is acceptable or normal, and want nothing to do with things that are “different”. They judge things at face value, and can be impossible to convince otherwise.
The difference between adults and kids, is as this quote explains, “kids argue like adults do, but the difference is the kids will be friends again in a few minutes”. This is because happiness is more important for them, whereas adults care more about pride than happiness. Kids don’t look other people up and down before choosing a friend, they are happy to play with anyone that is around no questions asked!
According to British paediatrician, DW Winnicot, “it is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self”.
We can take a page out of children’s books when it comes to being cheerful, optimistic and excited about life. Instead of dreading the morning traffic, doing the groceries, or washing the dishes after supper, we need to approach every day as being new and exciting.
Instead of allowing our hearts to be troubled, worrying and holding onto people who have hurt us, we need to reconcile and forgive, identify our own feelings and rebuilding relationships. We need to spend time taking part in fun activities, and keep trying new things.
Author – Mary Moore
Mary is a freelance writer, who has written articles on her experiences as a mother of a singleton and triplets including on her birth experience. She contributed to Mamas & Papas, has written various Christian articles, & is interested in helping people to live their best lives through her articles. She lives in Durban.