Younger children may have tantrums because they are still learning to regulate their emotions. This is a gradual process which requires ongoing practice, with your guidance.
Tips to Prevent Tantrums
- Ensure your children are well fed and well rested, especially before going out.
- Encourage lots of physical activity as this helps them to burn off energy and stress.
- Help children to recognise and label their emotions so that they are able to put their feelings into words rather than acting out.
- Be proactive by identifying situations which may cause tantrums, such as preparing your child for change in advance if they experience difficulty with transitions.
- Record tantrums to show them at a later stage as this may help them to realise that their behaviour is unacceptable and prevent them from repeating it.
- It is very important to recognise children’s successes and to reinforce positive behaviours.
Tips for Tantrums
- Set clear ground rules with regard to appropriate and inappropriate behaviour, making sure that your child has a good understanding of these.
- If your child does have a tantrum try to be patient, as it is important to manage your own feelings of anger and frustration. Modelling a suitable response to a situation will help to teach your children to have better control of their own emotions.
- Acknowledge and validate their feelings, for example, “I know that you are feeling angry because…” and then calmly remind them of the rules to make them aware that their behaviour is unacceptable. This may help them to compose themselves.
- Follow this by encouraging acceptable behaviour such as giving them instructions to apologise or make a more appropriate choice.
- If they do not respond to this then calmly state the consequences.
- If the tantrum still persists then ensure that you follow through with the consequences. Consistency is important!
- Once children learn that there are consequences for their inappropriate behaviour, they will be less likely to repeat it.
- Remember, what works for one child may not work for another. If your child does not manage to compose themselves then another method may be necessary.
- It may help to distract them or give them a “time out” until they are able to calm down and put their feelings into words.
- Do not give in or bribe them as this teaches them that tantrums get results!
- If your child continues to throw tantrums it might be useful to talk to their teacher, doctor, a counsellor or a psychologist.
It is important for parents and caregivers to remember that they are in charge! Children who know and understand their boundaries are less likely to throw tantrums because they are aware of what is expected of them.
By Lumika Pillay and Jessica Spearman, Crawford Pre-Primary North Coast.